


I can’t live without you

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicide, may be triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24686296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sam stumbles in the bunker, Castiel happily awaiting their return, he paused when he can’t find his boyfriend“Where’s dean?” He asks slowly, expecting the response of“He’s in the car”Or“Just grabbing the gear”But that’s not the answer he receivesMAY BE TRIGGERING
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 11





	I can’t live without you

Castiel is reading when he feels a sharp pang in his soul, it reverberates around his body and makes him shudder.  
He ignore it and continues reading.

Sam stumbles in the bunker, Castiel happily awaiting their return, he paused when he can’t find his boyfriend  
“Where’s dean?” He asks slowly, expecting the response of  
“He’s in the car”  
Or  
“Just grabbing the gear”  
But that’s not the answer he receives

Sam looks up, tears fighting to escape his eyes.  
He looked damaged, as if someone took a blade to his heart.  
As if he was in immense pain.  
There was not a single scratch on him  
“He’s gone” he chokes out, lip trembling and body slumped and defeated.  
Castiel freezes.  
Time slows down as he thinks.  
Dean, his lover, his friend  
Is dead.  
He was killed on a hunt.

Castiel walks slowly over to Sam, emotionless.

Sam watches as the blue spark in the angels eyes dims, then fades completely. His eyes darken to a shade of deep stormy blue, not one of light skies and wispy clouds, but one of oceans of emotions and storm clouds full of angry lightning.

He flexes his fist, knuckles white as he stalks up to the other Winchester  
He punches Sam, hard in the jaw. His knuckles crack against the bone and he can already feel the bruising.  
Sam stumbles backwards and pushes his hands forward, pleading and sad.

Sam watches as castiel shatters, the man he once knew was gone, all that was left was an empty shell of an angel, hollow and defective.

Castiel leaves without a word.

He stares blankly at the wall, remembering times with Dean.

When he would take him on drives in the impala, music loud and cheerful.  
Or when he would press up against castiel, body warm and soft. The white sheets around them, cocooning them is a false sense of security.

Tears fall from his eyes, rolling down his unshaven cheeks.

Time passes, he doesn’t know how much.  
He doesn’t eat  
He doesn’t sleep  
All he does is sit and think about dean.

He clutches Dean’s favorite flannel, silky smooth from overuse and love. It still smells like him, leather, whisky and gunpowder.  
The scent begins to fade after time, enveloping Castiel in a sense of panic and hopelessness.

Dean, the light of his life  
Dean, the man he fell from heaven for

Dean, the man he will never get to see again.

He walks over to the table next to his bed, opening the drawer.  
He pulls out a gun, his hands shake as he lift it to his head.  
He presses it to his temple, whispering these words as a mantra  
“I love you”  
He pulls the trigger


End file.
